Finding The One


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Thursday June 20th, 2019

It's coming to the end of June and it's raining outside today. What even is summer eh?

Today's post is going to be a personal one. As you can tell by the title, it's about finding 'the one'. I know that term can be a little scary and un-justified, but at some point, you must accept it. I don't think anyone in this world has found that one person. The logic behind God creating two souls for which are made for each other, and for those two souls to meet on this earth is pretty mind blowing. But if that were the case, shouldn't everyone be given the opportunity to find their one person? Who knows? All I know is that the person I found is like no other and has changed my life for the better.

Now, the person I am referring to is my girlfriend Rian. We have been dating for 8 months, and it has truly been the best 8 months of my life. The connection we formed on our very first date was unbeatable, and our relationship seemed to build itself over the weeks following. She made me feel like I didn't have to try, she made me feel like my thoughts and opinions were open for discussion and she drank a pint of beer at the same pace as I did which is a win in my books. A true blessing to this earth and my life.

So, what was different this time around? Clearly, she stood out amongst the rest. Buy why?

I'll get to the lovey dovey details as to how she stole my heart in a bit, but there's some important context I want to give before diving into that. There is truly only one thing that changed it all for me. It wasn't in the person I was looking for; it was in the person looking at me in the mirror.

About 4 years ago I lost myself. I developed a piece of mind that wasn't my own, and I put it on auto pilot. My decisions were made primarily out of instinct and for the betterment of my relationship at that time. It was toxic and exhausting. It took me nearly 3 years after that point (about 16 months before this day) to finally break out. I found out more about myself in the next 6 months than I ever have in my life, and I also knew exactly what I was looking for. My life was essentially reset, and I was in full control.

There's much more to that story that I would like to share, but I might save that for another post. My main take away from that is being able to understand yourself. I hear a lot of people say that their "stuck" in life and I know exactly how that feels. But there's always a way out, it's the risk that people fear.

So now that I knew who I was, I also knew what I wanted. I wasn't going to waste my time on settling for someone. I also wasn't going to waste my time looking for that person every single day. I was just doing my thing and enjoying my life in its entirety. Chasing my dreams and doing what I wanted to do. No hesitation.

Jumping to the evening of October 4th, 2018, I had a date arranged with a girl I got setup with through friends. I had no expectations. Like I said, I wasn't looking for that person, let alone a relationship at all, but that doesn't mean I wasn't going to go on dates. I was late (of course) but I gave her the heads up and she respectfully waited. I walked into the restaurant and I was blown away. She was beautiful. I truly mean this in the most non-cliché way possible... she took my break away.

She was funny, cute, smart and nerdy. She covered all the bases. She enjoyed the things I enjoyed, she listened to the music I listened to and our conversation had no awkward pauses. We told story after story and it truly felt like we had been friends for years. I had never felt a connection like that with anyone before. I knew that this person sitting right across from me was special. I was smiling the entire night.

And here we are. 8 months later and still going strong. Every time I see her is like the first, and my smile persists. I found 'the one' without even trying. I lucked out.

There's no hidden secret to any of this. It's just being able to recognize the bullshit. Don't settle for less. Don't lose hope. Don't put yourself down because of how you look or who you are. Life is too short man. Not everyone will get it on their first try, or second, or even third. But if I have any piece of advice for you, it's to know what you want. There's no league's in the relationship world. There's no winners or losers. Everyone is looking for the exact same thing, and everyone has their time.

Man, I could talk about this stuff all day... But I really should cut it here. I'll put the full story in a podcast whenever I decide to start that up.

Happy Thursday everyone. I hope the sun is shining wherever you are. 👏🌞

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